Decision Making - After Two Years in India - p2

My personal Recommendations based on experiences, How to determine the Move (Part 2 )

This second part is with a personal touch and recommendation. Please take the recommendations with your own judgement because it may be biased.

To get more balanced overview, refer to the part 1 :-)

Who should Move/Come Back to India?

You do not need any reason to come back to your motherland,but if you are still confused :P

1. If you remember your motherland and the elements of its culture/festivals everyday and feeling out of place. Just sitting there and saying I am not happy, wont solve anything > COME BACK.
2. If you are not able to do justice to your expertise and skill-set for Visa or other issues, come back to your country. This is specifically true for Doctors not able to get into US medical system as well as  non-work Visa holders who left their jobs for their hubby/wife and not getting one. 
3. If you are unemployed in US, loneliness will eat you up and can change your personality completely. You may find much better career opportunities in India and do better justice to yourself.
4. If you are not insecure, do not consider US to India move a one-way street, want to try it out for few years, DEFINITELY come!!
5. If you are living in a neighborhood where you can not go out in the evening for safety issues, your kids do not have any freedom or they are actually getting spoilt beyond your control. You can manager them better in your own country.
6. You are missing your parents and family every day, feeling guilty not being able to do your part  as a son/daughter or in case, the situation can not be managed from long distance> Please visit often or come back to spend time with a back up option to go back any time depending on your Bandwidth. That is a good option for not having regrets later ON.
7. You have many startup ideas to solve problems in India and can not do it from there, come back. With a scale of 1.2 Billion people, we need people with implementable ideas.
8. You have achieved the goals set by you for your visit to US (and/or have a Green Card) and do not have any constraints from your kids side (i.e. they either in college or you do not have kids), come back!!
9. You want to serve people of India and no matter how much you try, you can not be close to the people in a Foreign country
10. You believe only your motherland can unleash your potential.... then what are you waiting for, a sign!!???? (consider this as sign)

For me, it a mix of (1), (4), (6) & (10)

Over time our priorities change and the things that drive us to settle down in US may not hold true after 5 years. Career, money, success, family or rediscovering own self may have their share of priorities in our lives. 

Who may or may not come back?

1. You have changed over time  during your stay in USA and you know for sure, you cant not adjust in India right-away. Then the move will be tough for you.
2. If you come back to India, you would try to recreate your US life, in India. (It is a very bad trend, not doing good to anyone; you will become " na ghar ka na ghat ka")
3. You may get a good boost in your career if you come back to India. You may consider coming back as your knowledge may attract more value.  Usually US experience is well valued in India, 
4. You do not care so much where you are as long as you are surrounded by people who care for you. 
5. You are lazy in nature and want to make yourself happy with less work and daily struggles. (prioritize because if you have extra money you can find help for every single task in India and live lazier life.)

Who should not come back?

1. (for women) You know you will loose your freedom to work once you land in India,your in-laws will restrict your lives and you & your husband can not change that situation.
2. You are a global citizen, you are doing your part for US and for your motherland (as much as possible), living in US does not bother you, then you stay in USA if it gets the best out of you.
3. You badmouth every day about India among your friends. Please do not bring your negativity to India as you will do more harm than good.
4. You career is the first priority to you. Your technical field does not have any presence in India and you are not ready to make any compromise.
5. You live in one of the great cities in USA and your are well settled with your activities, interest, work and family. You should not come if there is no major personal reason for it.
6. You are happy with your involvement from a distance and all the willingness may disappear once you land in one of the polluted traffic-crazy cities
7. Your kids are used to US lifestyle and you do not want change their future for any reason. You just want the best for your kids.  (US has some of the best universities in the world)
8. You wont do any specific beyond your regular daily jobs > there is nothing special you can do in India then. If US life is easier , you must stick to it.
9. You will always consider the Indian lifestyle as a second grade life style and would miss your US daily chores
10. You will make a protective bubble for you and your kids in India, wont interact with people below your social stature. I think in that case, you should  not come back unless compelled by job loss or some other personal reason.

To Facilitate Your Decision Making Process

• Do not change yourself too much. Stay flexible. Do not develop fake accents or change your thinking process altogether. Learn the good and reject the bad. 
• When in India, try to go beyond the dinner invitations. Expose yourself to the changing culture of India. The things you may be missing in USA, you may not get in India either. India has changed a lot in last 10 years specially in metros. Your childhood memories may never be recreated!!
• Understand  that India is actually a human ocean. Very few countries in the world has such variations from human perspectives. If that fascinates you, India may be the right place for you. Take some extra holidays and travel around India, to understand the unity in diversity.
• Never forget your roots. You represent your motherland wherever you are. Just attending dassera programs wont help you connect to Indian culture. The things you were passionate about in India, do not let those passions die wherever you are.
• Keep yourself updated about the changes happening in India. Help India to transform itself to a better country whether through friends' efforts or through non-profits.

End of the day, you are who are you and you should be somewhere you can be the "best you" whether it is US or India or any other part of world. Everything else will fall in place, trust me. 

You can analyze all you want .....

<This post is now getting too long. In my next post I will discuss my personal list of survival Strategies in India if you finally bite the bullet to move back from US to India :-) >

Photo Courtesy: First one by Prabir Saha with Atlantic Ocean (2006) : Second one by Ankit Kumar in Andamans (2014)

Perspectives - After Two Years in India -p1

I lived all my childhood and got my B.Tech in India but most of my twenties are spent in US. After 10 years in USA, I came back to India in April 2013 (there is no specific reason for coming back and who needs one to come back to mother land anyway!!). I got used to the lifestyle and I went back for seven weeks in March 2015. The full loop of observation and expectations forced me to write down this post in two parts. Sorry for the length but given many of my friends are either planning to move to USA or planning to move back, I think it is important to document individual experiences.

Please note, my experience is mostly based on the cities I lived (and some observations through friend circle) - Atlanta, Burlington, Irvine (USA) & Bangalore, Kolkata (India).

The Comparison :

I think we decide on our city of work/residence based on these components below, lets compare them first.

(1) Family (read Parents):

Of course, we know we will be closer to our parents in India and we will be surrounded by our relatives.

Whereas , living in USA can give regrets in family front if you can not visit India in the times of their need or your parents are not fit enough to come to USA and stay over. 

However, direct family members and your definition of their well-being is dependent on the factors below. Sometimes, the theory of being a good provider may mean to take them away from the country seeking for better opportunities. Most families living in USA have to live with that conflict in their mind and when given a choice, we are bound to choose well-being of our next generation.

(2) Scope of Work and Education for Kids:

Scope of high-tech work and cutting edge research in MNCs or universities is less in India as we all know. However, some fields that cater to masses are already booming or have the potential to grow a lot in India. 

There are many jobs apart from Engineers like Doctors, Teachers & I think if you are in such fields, you may get more satisfaction in India. 

As far as education of kids are concerned, there are many institution of international standards but competition is a big bottleneck for a country of 1.3 Billion. Also, graduate research scope is still an issue due to the big gaps between industry and academics in India. Alternative scopes like Art and others are still limited compared to western countries.

(3) Daily Struggles (Transport, convenience etc):

It clearly depends where you live in USA or India. For big cities, traffic is a big struggle everywhere. However, the problem with Indian economy is that there are not many jobs in smaller cities where you can skip traffic. So whether it is Delhi, Mumbai or Bangalore, you have to face the traffic to an extent it may take all your daily energy in those 2-3 hours of commute. (Kolkata, Hyd and Chennai are a little less notorious in terms of traffic) 

But one thing to note - you can outsource every non-tech work to someone in India without loosing all your money - there are house-helps, there are drivers & there are courier guys. In Todays E-commerce sites, everything from grocery, electronics, clothes to diapers can be delivered at your doorstep thanks to BigBasket, Flipkart or Amazon.

Internet data and google maps are everywhere, so you will be able to reach your destination booking a cab using GPS and check the ratings in zomato before entering a restaurant!!

(4) Activities in the Weekend:

Again, you can live an active life style in new-age cities of India be it running, cycling, trekking, potluck or rock-show. It may get a little more hectic in India sometimes if you plan like USA. But if you plan early, you can have an enjoyable weekend. 

I am spoilt by the weather of Bangalore, so no idea how Delhites manage but again, if you ask a Seattle resident, a Texas resident and an upstate NY resident, their activities are also very much dependent on weather. An exception can be California residents who enjoy nice weather all throughout the year and so far, I lived my most active lifestyle during my 3 yrs in CA.

After I came to India, I did not stop travelling either, specially with Bus, trains and other ways to travel, it is less hectic for me sometimes (compared to USA). Natural beauty is abundant in India too. 

(5) Quality and Value of Life:

This is something I want to focus more on. There is a big difference between USA and India in terms of Quality of life or the willingness to acknowledge the value of life in General. 

Many NRIs come back and try to recreate mini USAs in their apartment complexes but that do not change India. The competition drives the concept of quality and value of life out of the mind for most people. It becomes a rat race from office, to the roads, to the education of your children or going to the front end of the line in a ticket booth. 

Being a country of less population, better infrastructure and overall consciousness about the value of life, USA does not suffer from it that much. Hope, this changes as more people are educated in India, there are more job opportunities, better civic sense and better culture of self-respect and self-value. We are still a crisis-driven country of insecure citizens, a country that  heavily depends on role-models and politics. 

Also, the respect for natural resources is a primary concern in India where trees are cut without any thoughts, parks are turned into apartments without any consequence and over time, that will endanger the whole ecosystem. 

< I have not compared the costs. Since it is similar in USA and India.  Main cost is real estate. House prices are pretty variant everywhere in the world, so that should not come in comparison so much- specially for the people reading this post>

Love & Hate Relationships

Five things I loved the most in USA  that are missing in India:

National park and state park system preserving nature that is beautiful and accessible

Vast expanse of Freeways (beyond 5-6 expressway between important cities like in India) 

Clean Roads and planned infrastructure

Research Environment in universities (in my experience)

Freedom and the individual rights while living in a society

Five things I love the most in India that were missing in USA:

The feeling at home (since I am born here)

Access to family and friends

Being an Indian, immense confidence while trying something new

The feelings when you can volunteer in NGOs and get immense satisfaction on ground

Numerous connections you make every day with so many people (and the bonds/ripples you make in a personal way in this ocean of humanity)

Five things I hated the most in USA:

Too much formality

The difficulties I faced in initial years (specially as a student with less money since USA is planned for people with money)

Safety issues in many pockets of USA

Too much dependence on cars

Hidden social issues (poverty, racism etc)

Five things I hate the most in India:

The traffic specially the fear of pedestrians/2-wheeler jumping in front of your car
The feelings of helplessness when I see educated people throwing garbage on streets
The missing importance of an individual's life in a society
Too much importance on leaders and celebrities
The "chalta hei" attitude leading to habituated in-sensitiveness




Be it USA or India, someone willing to settle, can always find 10 good things to be there and someone who wants to leave, can complain about 10 bad things. 

It is more important to understand what is high priority in your life and the things you miss, are they ok to miss or you should do something about it. 

It is not one-way street, still an important decision in your life if you have kids. I will try to focus more on my personal viewpoints on who should come and who may not in my next post. Also, I can share some secrets I learnt in my two years.