Why I Travel Solo

My journey as a traveler is so far limited to 24 countries but most of it is taken as a solo traveler. I was never a sports/outdoor-enthusiastic since childhood nor had the money to travel at the early years. Even while I was in USA, I seldom traveled alone or in a regular basis during the first 9 years (2003-2012). 

So what happened in 2012 that in the next 5 years, I covered 30+ national parks in USA, 14 countries in Europe (including 250+ km treks in Alps), covered 1000+ km treks in Himalayas, 4 countries in south-east Asia (multiple treks in Indonesia volcanoes) and extensively covered India's remote corners.   

After it did not materialize with friends, I made a solo trip to Death Valley in 2012. I did some solo treks in the Golden canyon, drove some mountain miles in an alien land, walked on the salt desert below sea level looking at 10000+ ft peaks, danced a bit in its sand dunes, dared to look down its craters and watched sunrise at Mt Whitney nearby. It opened the first door for me to start the connection with the amazing mother nature.     

Where it all started!

The second trigger (and a life changing one) was trekking in Himalayas on June 2015. The ethereal beauty helped me witness nature in purest form. And there is no turning back.......

My second trigger and a life-changing one!

Trust me I am not against the fun filled trips with a tight group of friends. I have made lots of memories in my life in those trips but focus was different. So why the solo-traveling experience is a different one ? What is the fun in looking at an amazing scenery and not being able to share it? How come the shared load of planning and execution is not a good thing!

Allow me to explain my reasons in seven points....I promise the post will not be as long as my earlier posts :-)

Freedom

No doubt there is different sense of freedom. If one day I do not want to go anywhere and just sleep in my hostel room, I do not need to convince anyone. If one day I am in the mood of walking 35 km, no permission needed. No dependence on others preferences, habits, health or mood. Also best spontaneous traveling experience comes in solo traveling. 

Observation

I observe and focus more on the places and the landscapes. Even though there is no second pair of eyes to experience, but I tend to absorb more and remember more details while traveling alone. In groups, the internal talks distract me to take in more.

No pressure of planning 

May be it is my own fault. But when I travel with others, I take extra load of planning and hence, I feel bad when plans fail due to unknown circumstances. That extra stress blocks my capacity to fully enjoy the trip. Over the years, I stopped the must-visit agenda in my own travels but it still comes back while travelling with others.

Different capacity of travel

After years of travel, I am mentally prepared to walk long distances to experience more, wake up early to see sunrise, wait for hours to watch the sunset and prioritize experience over comfort. It gets very difficult when someone else does not meet that. However, sometimes I do find travel mates of similar requirements and better fitness :-)

Social Interaction

It is always important for me how a country or a city deals with a stranger. The impact becomes different when I am with a group. Also, it is sometimes easier to make friends and know about others' culture while travelling alone. I think we value social interaction more when alone.

My ambivert nature 

Once, I was an introvert who can spend days without talking. I am also an extrovert who talks nonstop while meeting an old friend or strangers with similar interests. But sometimes I demand private space and pin-drop silence. A travel companion may not adjust easily with my shifting mood. 

Nature Connection

This is main reason I believe. I find an eerie connection to mother nature while I walk alone through the meadows, mountain valleys; sit next to the lakes and oceans. I can not explain it. This bond grows stronger and stronger as I travel to more remote areas. 
When hours pass without seeing anyone, it does not worry me rather I go into some kind of trance as if I am in the presence of a true friend...The mountains become alive, the crystal clear lakes become friends, the clouds start games with mountain peaks making me the judge.......

However please note when I really enjoy company 

• In my regular life outside travel. Friends are family for me. 
• In cities where nothing else is there to do. Friends can make boring places come alive.
• Taking my photos in beautiful settings (solo travel has its curse...nobody to take your photos)
• While camping in mountains (whom to complain about the extreme cold)
• During travels with a like-minded person

I can not take such photos in Solo travels!! Only a Fellow trekker can :-)

PS: for people, who never experienced solo travelling, you should do it even in a small scale. You will feel a different sort of independence. 

A Year Longer than Twelve Months

It has been 12 months since I quit my job as a research engineer and started travelling.

Why I started travelling is expressed here

When I decided to take a break so that I could realize my full potential as a human being, I thought a year will be enough. But that is not the case, as I have extended my travel plans by at least six more months.

What it feels like?

In one word – it is WEIRD. Remember the video log of Jake Sully in Avatar where he says “Everything is backwards now, like out there is the true world, and in here is the dream.” I feel exactly the same when I am writing here about my time in Himalayas or some remote island in Indonesia or a village school with kids.

I no longer believe in the fact that I am born to sit in a cubicle inside a concrete building and work with a laptop. We are connected to nature by birth. The more we surround ourselves by the concrete jungle, the more we strain that connection. To make the bonds stronger, at one point, we need to let go of the bad habits of metros and embrace nature in its true sense (not the fake gardens of resorts or a comfortable pre-booked luxury trip). 

In other words, we need to go beyond the boundaries of civilization. Thankfully, my treks in 

Himalayas gave me exactly that.  I feel more alive, more confident now.

What have I gotten so far?

Nothing I can put on my table, but a lot of things in my memories. Many negative memories of the past are already flushed out and replaced by mountain vistas, green waves of ocean and happy faces.   It does not feel like 365 days. It feels like ages. My memories are full with moments that take ones breath away.

When people ask me why did I quit my well-paid job and started doing things I was not supposed to do, I usually give very odd answers. Because an honest answer may get misinterpreted. You have to be there with me to understand the difference. A fellow traveler once pointed out that I have higher capacity of battery, it got drained and it will take me years to charge it compared to 1-2 week holidays of others :-) 

Thirties in life are supposed to be the time when you buy a house, start a family, upgrade your car and work hard for a promotion in your office. But I never thought of that in recent times. I always dreamed of mountains, oceans and new unexplored corners in this beautiful world. Probably that is why I am living my dream. My investment to myself can only yield a happier and more confident self. That goal seems perfectly fine to me as long as my positive energy brings positive energy to the world and people around me.  

It is true my journey is to find out what I am born to do rather than what I am trained to do. But this journey has taught me many more things than that. It made me more confident, stronger in decision making, courageous about future plans. It is also guiding me every day against the attachment to money and other materialistic things.

What is stopping me to settle down a bit?

I am a very odd traveler/backpacker. Someone who never smoke (cigarettes or weed), never drank and will never be a party person. I am that someone who needs space even in the most crowded city. I travel through a city where almost nobody speaks my language and make it my own. I can be silent for weeks and observe people & scenery around.  I can adjust to any kind of food (for a month till the Bengali in me kicks in). I travel on budget but never let the budget be the showstopper for new outdoor experiences. I can  easily communicate with children from all around the world through my smiles, patience and respect. 

All these signs say I will never settle down because I am addicted to watching a life-long cinema that casts many characters and the characters as well as the backdrop need to change over time. (Of course, some of them will be permanent in my movie)

Any thoughts of future?

Yes. You get a lot of time to think about your future during travels. You give more stress to what you like and what you dislike. So I am thinking clear what I really want to do in life. The batter is almost ready. Just need to turn on the heat and make the Dosa J

The best things that happened to me during Travel

Asha Visits – I have visited more than 40 schools across India (through Asha for Education) and taught in 3-4 different setups in last 10 months. I learned a lot from the kids in remote villages, the teachers and the people who run these organizations. It was also a nice break from regular travels and treks. 

Himalayas – I fell in love with the beauty of Himalayan princess from day 1 (14th June 2015 to be exact). I always see a better reflection of myself in the crystal clear lakes hidden in the valleys. I find a better footing in the slippery snow slopes. I find a new motivation to bring positive changes to the society looking at the grandeur of snow clad peaks.  Himalayas have driven me crazy but made me humble. It gave me a new purpose to look beyond the visible. I ended up spending more than 5 months in high altitudes of Himalayas in this travel spree. I used to be someone who is scared of heights, now I have done 10 high altitude treks in last one year.  I keep going back every 1-2 months, if it is not love, what is? 

 My precious............

If you have time,  snapshot of my journey so far:

July 2016 – Started the journey in Kashmir. A 5-day trek in Gangabal Lake during curfew, headed to Ladakh, Tso Moriri Lake, Markha Valley trek

August 2016 – Revisiting other places in Ladakh (Nubra valley), 10-12Km runs in Ladakh, Visiting Zanskar and Suru Valley, Adventures and home-stays in Spiti Valley, Himachal

September 2016 – Short treks in Parvati Valley, Hampta pass in Himachal revisited with Chandrataal, Visits to schools and projects of Asha in Varanasi area

October 2016 – More Asha visits + family time in Patna and Kolkata, Traveled to Pelling and finished Goechala trek in Kanchanjunga national park,

November 2016 – Visits to Gurudungmar, Lachen, Lachung in Sikkim; Surviving demonetization while visiting Asha projects in Assam (near Bhutan border), Brahmaputra of Tezpur; Arunachal experience in Tawang and neighboring lakes, interesting tiger sighting experience in Kaziranga, Attending a wedding in Silchar, Visiting Meghalaya (cherapunji, Dawki, Shilong, Mawlynlong etc)

December 2016 – More Asha visits and teaching experience in Sundarbans, Kuari pass in NandaDevi Biosphere

January 2017 – Kedarkantha trek, Bungy jumping and rafting in Rishikesh, Rajashthan experience (Jaipur, Ajmer, Pushkar, Joshpur, Jaisalmer, Desert National park camping and Udaipur), more Asha visits in Gujarat & Rajasthan, Chilling in IIM Ahmedabad, back to Himachal with friends (Dalhousi, Bir paragliding, Mcleodganj, Dharmashala, Triund trek) 

<Travel in India is bliss - less planning , more Jugaad!! >

February 2017 – Brahmatal Lake trek from Lohajung, trails of Asha visits through UK and UP, Patna again

March 2017 – Chilling at home and then spend a week in Singapore at friends place

April 2017 – Thailand - Krabi to Phuket to Bangkok/Pattaya to Ayuthaya. First time kayaking in ocean; Cambodia – Phnom Penh and Siem Reap (cycling through Angkor Wat); Indonesia – Bali island and Gili islands; First time surfing.

May 2017 – Traveled from East to West Jawa covering multiple volcano treks and historic sites in Banyuwangi, Mt Bromo, Jogjakarta, Bandung and Jakarta.  At home for two weeks and few Asha visits.

June 2017 – 3 weeks in Himachal covering Bhrigu lake trek, Buran ghati trek and peaceful time in Bir.

The list goes on.................................A simple video to show some snapshots!!

Insecurity and How to Live Without it

Insecurity - uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence. 

Lets consider the following cases :

1) Anil loves to paint. It is the only thing that lifts up his spirits during the bad days. He has graduated from a reputed Engineering college. He got an IT job from campus placement. Over next 10 years, he moved from one position to another and whenever he wanted to take painting seriously, he thought it would affect his IT career beyond repair. So he suppressed his passion for painting for ever!!

2) Sameera is doing her Internship in a reputed hospital after completing MBBS. She wants to do specialization from a UK medical college. However, her parents found a suitable match and wants to get her married before 25 yrs of age. She consulted her best friends and most of them suggested her to get married for better life while she was young and not nearing 30. She decided that marriage was a safer choice than taking the chance for specialization abroad. She learned to live with regrets in years to come.

3) Irfan was studying in class 11 in a UP village when he started working. His teachers were confident that he could get scholarship after 12 to complete his graduation. But all his class mates started working at Class 10/11 so that they could get jobs with better salary at 22. Irfan started having second thoughts and he finally joined a part time job. He never had enough time to focus on studies and did not meet the cutoff for the scholarship.

4)  Rachelle fell in love with George in college. They got married right after graduation and settled in a suburb near Los Angeles. Rachelle never had a family of her own and raised in a home with 20 girls. Her happiness did not last long though as George turned into an alcoholic over time. It made her life measurable. She tried everything to make their lives better but all in vain. She slowly accepts this life as she has nowhere else to go.

5) Purab has been working in a multinational company for 5 years. He is not yet married and every now & then, thinks about travelling around the world. He has decent savings to support his own travels for at least 1-2 yrs. But travelling may mean to leave the job and  a break in his career. With the job scenarios, he keeps postponing this plan and his bucket list is never ticked.

6)   Namita is a lawyer by profession and people at workplace admires her court presence a lot. She is considered among the hard-hitting lawyers in that area. At home, the situation is different. She is a mother of two married with Sathish. Their marriage was arranged by common friends and kids happened. They both know that it is a failed marriage. Sathish has been hitting her time to time since marriage. He believes it is the right thing to do to control her arrogance. But she never takes any serious steps against that as it may make their marriage even more difficult. Sathish threatened her many times that he would leave her and the kids if she tried to talk to anyone about it. She stays silent to save the marriage, even after knowing the laws protecting a woman against an abusive husband.

7) Piya and Rahul are more than friends. Rahul's company is sending him to UK for a year. Piya does not like this and gives Rahul a deadline whether to engage before flying to UK or break up with her. Rahul is clueless about the reasons to rush their relationship. But Piya being adamant, he breaks up with her with lots of regrets.

Do you see anything common in these common stories??

Weakness - Yes!!
But the root cause of weakness >> Insecurity!!

I understand the insecurity of a farmer (who is extremely dependent on rains) after a bad monsoon season. I understand the insecurity of a student who has barely passed and may have to compete with millions of other graduate to get a decent job. I understand the insecurity of an orphan girl who has to leave the orphanage after she turns 15 and she has nowhere else to go. I understand the insecurity of a family who lost everything in a flood and has to migrate to a mega-city looking for jobs.

What I do not understand is the insecurity deep-routed inside people who are doing well and more or less not in a crisis situation. Still let me try to get to the bottom of it and share some remedies from my personal experiences !!

Why Insecurity?? - Five top reasons

1)  Lack of Self confidence - Yes, you do not believe in yourself enough. Even if there is a 10 pct  risk involved of some temporary struggle, people do not sign up for it.

2) Influence of NO - There are more people in the world who tell us what we can not do than ones who tell us what we can do. That may include our parents, close friends, life partners or siblings. It is not their fault. This is a deep-routed habit that unless we consciously fix, it wont go.

3) Money-driven decisions - Most people forget to invest in their happiness than to invest for more money. When you let the money rule most of your decisions, where is the scope of dreamer and the free mind?

4) Fear of unknown - Even if almost nothing happens as we plan, we still go with a settled plan than an unsettling wish.

5) Stability is over-rated - Recipe of stability - education> job > marriage > kids > retirement. None of these assures a security or stability. May be there are higher chances of someone taking care of you when you are down with fever but how many days you will have fever in your lives. Most people decide based on few days of instability.
(Clarification - I am just talking about changes in life when you are ready for it. A major decision taken out of insecurity is not good for anyone).


How to Break the Chains of Insecurity?

Remember the quote from "Pursuit of Happiness"
A father to his son - "Don't ever let somebody tell you... You can't do something. Not even me. All right?"

That is the key to break the shackles of insecurity when you are an adult or a child.

Other ways to ward off insecurity in my humble opinion:

1) Balance between practical self of yours and the dreamer - Yes. Be practical most of the times. But do not live your life being practical all the times. You are killing the kid  in you and slowly turning the dreamer in you to a machine. Successful people are already practical. The obsession to take the right decisions can be a burden after some time.

2) Do not fall under peer pressure. It is absolutely ok to have many interests and to do justice to them at different points in life. Everyone has a different shoe to fit in. As long as you are comfortable with yours, walk ahead and after some time, run. Run in the direction that makes you - the best possible you, not someone else. 

3) Decide what you can not live without? Yes, It is important. Ask yourself every day what you want from your life and work towards it in a positive way.

4) Frustration is good if you are working towards getting rid of it. So many times I have heard people complaining about their jobs and not doing anything about it. You change your field if you do not like it. Dedication pays most of the times. Luck favors those who do not completely depend on luck.

5) Focus on creating memories than amassing things in your house. Remember life is short.and happiness wont come from piled up cash. There is no fear of losing when you fill your bag with wonderful moments.

6) Do not use family card. It is completely unfair to use their well being for justifying your every weakness. You should go extra mile to help your loved ones achieve their dream and they will understand/help when you follow yours.

7) Never surrender your soul to things. Understand the standard of living is relative.When you are sixty, that extra money spent for 4 bhk flat may not matter so much but the things you wanted to do and missed out , may matter!! A life with less insecurities is a life with less regrets.

8)  Avoid the spiral of negative thoughts.The successful businessman fears of making a wrong decision that will hamper his/her plan to expand business. A happy family man suffers from the fear of bad times. Yes you can make yourself weak by thinking about worst possible scenarios or you can give your best shot and accept whatever comes. I can assure you nothing good ever came out of negative thoughts and anxiety.

9) Trust is important. A mother may fear from factors that may affect the well being of her children. A father may get scared of bad exam results of his son/daughter. A lover may do stupid things in fear of losing the special bonding of love. The list will go on. Such insecurities can be fixed by increasing the trust on your beloved. Yes, trust on others' intelligence, decision making power and emotional strength.

10) Finally, BELIEVE in YOURSELF. You are not alone to suffer from insecurities. Every human being suffers from them. The nature of insecurities may change but it exists for everyone. Only if you believe in your strength, you can let go of the weaknesses deeply routed in your mind.


What worked for me?

I expressed most of my feelings in a previous blog of mine:
http://padmanavasen.blogspot.in/2016/10/the-life-after.html

However, the equation is simple. Four-step process

i) Get used to friends and families but never get used to comfort and laziness. Never underestimate the adaptive nature of human beings. We survived so far in this universe for our adaptive nature.

ii) Keep your passions and interests alive even during the 16-hr-work days and specially when you realize that you are spending way too much time for things that are not important to you or the world.

iii) Give your practical self , the control of the financials and logistics for a week and then take the control from that (if the answer is GOOD to GO). Give the control to your heart after that.

iv) Take the first leap. After that, it is easy to follow your heart and mind. When you free yourself from insecurity, your regular chores will do wonders.

Once you say your insecurities bye bye, you will first enjoy the emptiness of thoughts in your mind and slowly it will be filled with positive  happy thoughts. Put them into actions and you will smile more than before:-)

The more you are ruled by your insecurities, the farther you are going from your true self. Embrace your self with all its craziness, impractical decisions and irregularities. Only then the human inside you will win over the machine. A mind, free of insecurities can see the true beauty of the world.

The only thing I wish to do in life is to spread my wings and set myself free...

Asha Diary - 1 - Asha Darshan Schools

It was my first visit to North East. I have never heard of Rangiya (few stations away from Guwahati). My expectation was simple- to spend 2-3 days in some schools supported by Asha for Education, Silicon Valley chapter. It is my 25th or so Asha visit, did not expect much difference. However, I ended up spending 8 days in Tamulpur village near Rangiya and felt quite refreshed before heading to Tawang, Arunachal.

This area is quite close to the Bhutan border. I could easily enter Bhutan by foot and many locals fill up their tank in Bhutan. The demonetization happened the day I reached Rangiya. I spent 5 days in different schools playing academic games, trying to figure out ways to improve the quality of education. It was very lively interaction to say the least. Some villages have more Bengalis than Assamese. Some villages have mostly adibasi population. Some villages have mostly Boro whereas few villages in the Bhutan border have mixed population. There is one thing common - they all dance very well!!

Now what are the challenges in running school here 

a) Different languages people speak

b) Decades of conflict have caused a lot of issues in the infrastructure. Govt schools were not there in multiple villages. 

c) Violence among different groups were not uncommon few years back. Now things are apparently quite peaceful.

d) Elephants come down from the mountains almost every day. They ruin the vegetable and paddy field in some villages.  So "bhago" is the word after 4 pm every day.

Put your children in these settings and imagine how they will concentrate on studies where electricity is scarce and elephants keep making a mess.

                                                                Scenic villages of Assam

But the landscape is very beautiful coveted with tea gardens, mustard fields and paddy fields. It was quite fun to interact with kids in these settings. After spending time in all schools, I could also spend one day teaching Class 7 and 8 kids. But my best experience was the dance experience with the kids. 

Another thing I noticed in these schools is the bonding between the teachers and kids. I think the learning becomes perfect when you can explain your problems freely to your teacher. 
 

There was a dance drama named " Mukti" during the events. I felt only education can create a nice path to forget all the conflicts, make the infrastructure better and make this new generation free from social and politics-driven chains.
 

They also spread the message of peace among different cultures and religions.

I could attend the children's day event and be a judge for the dances and vocals. At the same time, I had more chances to dance in the tunes of "O Seni Mai". 

Apart from all the judging, posing, dancing ---- I taught a bit too. This is the proof :-)

Asha Darshan runs schools mostly in Assamese and Boro medium. The Boro medium students do not have much option of higher studies in mother tongue so they have to learn English and Hindi fast. Ditto with the Adibasi school in Sonmani (it is amazing how they have the same script as the adibasi in Ayodhya hills). There is no computer education anywhere. Glad to see teachers being trained to use computer. Next will be the kids :-)

While I look back at these selfies, I feel the positive energy created by Asha Darshan among these kids. Not only kids from different languages, different cultures are dancing in the same stage changing the history of conflicts and differences, they are creating a better world every moment they smile.

More details about this project, click here. 

The Life After.....

The context is simple. Even if it is common in Western world, taking a gap year seems like a distant dream for most people in India. I am only talking about the well educated and well to-do section only, even though you do not need a lot of money to travel properly in India. Anyway, since I have quit my job and started a simple journey only 3.5 months back, it is good to write some thoughts down.

My Primary Agenda - To be relatively free and do things I love to do. That includes two things - Travel (mostly mountains and trekking) and Non-profit work (via Asha for Education, being involved for last 10 yrs - I have a pretty good platform). This small list can be quite different for others. So taking a break, does not mean travel for everyone. It can be a time to nurture other passions, lost hobbies or anything that can refresh your core.

First step - Explaining your near and dear ones. I have realized and explained the main reason - TO FIGURE OUT WHAT I AM BORN TO DO RATHER THAN WHAT I AM TRAINED TO DO. What that means, I am trained to be an engineer, trained to do practical things, trained to plan finances, trained to drive, trained to plan travel and entertainment. But probably I am born to do much more than that. So, unless you pause from your regular life full of comfort zones, how are you going to figure out your more adventurous/dreamy self and your potential beyond comfort zones?

The first week - Yes, I have worked for a stretch of 13 years without any lapses of employment. So after 650+ weeks of employment, when I quit, the first week without pay will be different. But mostly, it feels like a holiday. Thankfully, I did not miss my work. I was initially missing the lack of agenda in a day which I slowly started loving in the weeks that followed.

The first  three months - Now that I am free from all the constraints of leaves and deadlines, I started giving more meaning to my time. I started thinking what I really love to do. I started feeling home in the middle of mountains, in villages at altitude of 14000 ft, while cutting grass with villagers, while trekking with a GPS --- literally any place where people have time to listen to you, you are not judged by your qualifications/salary and you can express yourself better.
I am meeting new people every day, some of them leaving a mark, some of them disappearing in my passive memory zone. I have started more spontaneous travel as well. Bathing in the beauty of mountains became a habit....I started doing things that I used to consider impractical at one point of time. I listen to others more, I keep an open mind to let more rays to enter & probably I am tapping the better part of my self, more than before. 

" May be the journey isn't so much about becoming anything. May be it's about unbecoming everything that isn't you so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place." - Unknown

Months back in a Whatsapp forwarding, I read this quote that perfectly explains why I started the journey and I realized it even more after a few weeks on the road. I am not just an engineer, I am not just a holder of list of degrees and bank accounts, I am not just that name everyone calls me, I am not the resume, I am not just the person who needs to be predictable so that everyone can give me stamp of a good citizen, a good son, a good friend and a good engineer. I personally think if I can be the best that I can be , I can fit in all those roles with new vigor and energy. 

I think the smiles I bring in peoples' faces when I meet them and the peaceful feeling that comes to my mind and soul in the midst of nature, defines me more than anything else.

I am probably not trained but born to dance  next to a 15000 ft Lake in Ladakh ( Tso Moriri).

If you are in rush, you can stop here...Otherwise, go on!!

To answer a few questions I have been hearing numerous times and sometimes I ask myself as well -

Is there any risk involved to break the monotony of life ?
When you are driving in a highway, and you make a stop at a rest area, what is the reason for that? Without stops, your driving will be worse and you can meet accidents. It works like a refresher. Now lets say, you love the rest area more than the highway, do you want to spend more time. Probably yes, when you are not in a hurry!.. For me it is just the opposite. I was in a rest area, and started driving in the highways :-)

Is travel the only way to refresh your energy? 
Absolutely not. For me travel and non profit work revitalize me. For someone it can be spending more time with family or following a long lost hobby (writing, photography, painting....). I can only stress the need of rethinking your life after a point of time.

Is it the right time?
No time is right time. But having a little bit of buffer money in bank helps! However, you need to break the chains of insecurity, otherwise no money is enough as buffer money. Some people may want to pursue a gap year after working for 2 yrs, some 20 yrs. But we need to invest on our wishes and consider that gap not a loss of your salary rather a gain in terms of experiences. A refreshed mind can work better, so it may be good for your career too.

Am I making a statement?
Definitely not. I try not to be the person who claims whatever he is doing is the right thing for everyone. I am trying to do justice to myself.
Being the manager of my heart, mind and soul, I need to make all three happy. Sometimes I follow the practical part of my mind, sometimes the dreamy part... sometimes I want to be somewhere that touches my soul, sometimes I listen to the words that touches my heart. I can only tell others to listen to every words inside you and do not suppress them giving practical reasons.

How can I sustain these?
Seriously, how can one sustain working in a boring place for 8-10 hrs a day without loving work, that I do not understand!! A bored engineer has more sustenance problem than a happy traveler :-)
I am not telling that I will keep doing this till eternity. Life is lived in moments, not in years. If I gather enough moments that I feel satisfied , I will be the old practical self again. Or may be I will be a different person at the end of this journey.. a person who will follow his heart and invest his energy in something he truly believes in.
I want to be the child again who wants to play all day defying his parents because he loves to play. May be when I play enough, I will come home and study books for a reason, not as a burden or compulsion.

Do I miss practical working days?
I only miss my friends and occasionally, the technical side of me. But I was never too technical in nature and tried to kept a simple identity outside workplace. Work was anyway my 2nd priority last 5-6 yrs. I think most people who lost their passion in their work, wont miss their work. If people comment about what I am doing with my education and training, I reply them that giving 13 yrs in the same field should have done enough justice to that.

Do I listen to comments and advice from people? What is my take on the suggestions?

In a country of ultra intrusive people, the only way to survive is to take comments in a sportive fashion. I hear comments from everyone - ranging from "you are doing injustice to your parents " to " I wish to live your life". I silently listen to these comments from all sections of society and smile. Trust me I even got comments from the person selling newspapers in Varanasi station to completely random strangers. Everyone has a theory in life and I do not mind hearing it.  In a society where your designation defines you, I want to see how people reacts to a traveler. It is funny how almost everyone thinks marriage and starting a family is like a goal for a bachelor and recipe of happiness. My observations among married people give a different story but still those suggestions will keep pouring. Thankfully my parents are not among those :P

So in simple words - I hear you. I respect your viewpoint but no! thank you! (Specially when you are giving strong comments that I should go back to the regular practical life soon)

Most people forget that we have different journeys to complete and we have different shoes to fit in, as well. I have always nurtured the second thoughts and believe that everyone has the right to follow ones heart. The same things do not bring happiness to everyone. Like many people consider travel a hassle, I consider happy secured life a hassle too!! That is the beauty of life and us. We are complicated beings with different wiring inside us.
If you want to have a wonderful life with family and kids, give yourself 100 pct on that. If you do not want to do that, do not get deviated by what others are doing. The herd mentality can not be good for anyone. I have one life and it is better to do things what I really want to do. I do not want to make a mess trying to reach everywhere at the same time or do everything that makes others happy.
I only want my kind of happiness not others'. That self analysis everyone needs to do at one point and I have done for myself long back! It may change over time and I am aware of that. But I do not want to loose the blissful moments of my kind in search of the ones that are definitely not mine.

I definitely do not look unhappy amidst mountains :-)

Please do not get me wrong. I am pro-family, pro-love, pro-travel and above all, pro-freedom. I love the beautiful affectionate smile, I see in my friends' faces when they look at their children and I can understand the bonding of heart in a family but I do not long for the exact same happiness right now. I am destined for a different smile  and a different bonding. As long as we understand each other, there won't be any confusion. That mutual respect needs to be there in every strata of society in India, specially while raising children. I strongly believe that the next generation should be given more chance to exploit what they are born to do.

What am I learning?

Actually I am learning life's lessons in most remote places. I learned the meaning of happiness when I saw a family in Demul village happily cooking alu gobhi (a luxury dish in that altitude) for dinner after spending full day in mountains collecting dried dung and finding visitors (without any prior notice) in the evening. I find the meaning of perseverance when I saw a German guy travelling from Ladakh to Spiti Valley on his own, trekking without any support. I feel the passion of travelling whenever I see a foreigner spending 6-12 months in India in shoestring budget. I thank every hot meal and soup after a long days of walk. I spent days filled with beauty with no concrete around where less is more. Those days taught me what I really need to be happy.

What next?

That is the beauty of freedom. I only plan for next week and few things I want to do over the coming months. Rest is decided over time. In the past, I have been to a place and depending on some suggestions from people I met there, I decided my next place. Overall I am in love with Himalayas, so that comes to my mind by default and gets included in travel plans.

Apart from travel, I truly believe in education, women empowerment and imparting employ-ability in the unfortunate classes of society. So I will spend more time with non profits I know and have been part of. It was in my wish list for a long time and I want to fulfill my wishes now.

I can jump high where ever I am :-) 

( First picture in Nubra Valley, Ladakh & second picture while visiting an Asha school in Naugarh area, UP)

PS: Why do I write such long blogs?

I either talk a lot or I keep my mouth shut. So I write less blogs but loooooong blogs...Can't help it :P

Picture Courtesy: As always, all pics without me, are taken by me and pics with me, taken by my friends in that journey.

Decision Making - After Two Years in India - p2

My personal Recommendations based on experiences, How to determine the Move (Part 2 )

This second part is with a personal touch and recommendation. Please take the recommendations with your own judgement because it may be biased.

To get more balanced overview, refer to the part 1 :-)

Who should Move/Come Back to India?

You do not need any reason to come back to your motherland,but if you are still confused :P

1. If you remember your motherland and the elements of its culture/festivals everyday and feeling out of place. Just sitting there and saying I am not happy, wont solve anything > COME BACK.
2. If you are not able to do justice to your expertise and skill-set for Visa or other issues, come back to your country. This is specifically true for Doctors not able to get into US medical system as well as  non-work Visa holders who left their jobs for their hubby/wife and not getting one. 
3. If you are unemployed in US, loneliness will eat you up and can change your personality completely. You may find much better career opportunities in India and do better justice to yourself.
4. If you are not insecure, do not consider US to India move a one-way street, want to try it out for few years, DEFINITELY come!!
5. If you are living in a neighborhood where you can not go out in the evening for safety issues, your kids do not have any freedom or they are actually getting spoilt beyond your control. You can manager them better in your own country.
6. You are missing your parents and family every day, feeling guilty not being able to do your part  as a son/daughter or in case, the situation can not be managed from long distance> Please visit often or come back to spend time with a back up option to go back any time depending on your Bandwidth. That is a good option for not having regrets later ON.
7. You have many startup ideas to solve problems in India and can not do it from there, come back. With a scale of 1.2 Billion people, we need people with implementable ideas.
8. You have achieved the goals set by you for your visit to US (and/or have a Green Card) and do not have any constraints from your kids side (i.e. they either in college or you do not have kids), come back!!
9. You want to serve people of India and no matter how much you try, you can not be close to the people in a Foreign country
10. You believe only your motherland can unleash your potential.... then what are you waiting for, a sign!!???? (consider this as sign)

For me, it a mix of (1), (4), (6) & (10)

Over time our priorities change and the things that drive us to settle down in US may not hold true after 5 years. Career, money, success, family or rediscovering own self may have their share of priorities in our lives. 

Who may or may not come back?

1. You have changed over time  during your stay in USA and you know for sure, you cant not adjust in India right-away. Then the move will be tough for you.
2. If you come back to India, you would try to recreate your US life, in India. (It is a very bad trend, not doing good to anyone; you will become " na ghar ka na ghat ka")
3. You may get a good boost in your career if you come back to India. You may consider coming back as your knowledge may attract more value.  Usually US experience is well valued in India, 
4. You do not care so much where you are as long as you are surrounded by people who care for you. 
5. You are lazy in nature and want to make yourself happy with less work and daily struggles. (prioritize because if you have extra money you can find help for every single task in India and live lazier life.)

Who should not come back?

1. (for women) You know you will loose your freedom to work once you land in India,your in-laws will restrict your lives and you & your husband can not change that situation.
2. You are a global citizen, you are doing your part for US and for your motherland (as much as possible), living in US does not bother you, then you stay in USA if it gets the best out of you.
3. You badmouth every day about India among your friends. Please do not bring your negativity to India as you will do more harm than good.
4. You career is the first priority to you. Your technical field does not have any presence in India and you are not ready to make any compromise.
5. You live in one of the great cities in USA and your are well settled with your activities, interest, work and family. You should not come if there is no major personal reason for it.
6. You are happy with your involvement from a distance and all the willingness may disappear once you land in one of the polluted traffic-crazy cities
7. Your kids are used to US lifestyle and you do not want change their future for any reason. You just want the best for your kids.  (US has some of the best universities in the world)
8. You wont do any specific beyond your regular daily jobs > there is nothing special you can do in India then. If US life is easier , you must stick to it.
9. You will always consider the Indian lifestyle as a second grade life style and would miss your US daily chores
10. You will make a protective bubble for you and your kids in India, wont interact with people below your social stature. I think in that case, you should  not come back unless compelled by job loss or some other personal reason.

To Facilitate Your Decision Making Process

• Do not change yourself too much. Stay flexible. Do not develop fake accents or change your thinking process altogether. Learn the good and reject the bad. 
• When in India, try to go beyond the dinner invitations. Expose yourself to the changing culture of India. The things you may be missing in USA, you may not get in India either. India has changed a lot in last 10 years specially in metros. Your childhood memories may never be recreated!!
• Understand  that India is actually a human ocean. Very few countries in the world has such variations from human perspectives. If that fascinates you, India may be the right place for you. Take some extra holidays and travel around India, to understand the unity in diversity.
• Never forget your roots. You represent your motherland wherever you are. Just attending dassera programs wont help you connect to Indian culture. The things you were passionate about in India, do not let those passions die wherever you are.
• Keep yourself updated about the changes happening in India. Help India to transform itself to a better country whether through friends' efforts or through non-profits.

End of the day, you are who are you and you should be somewhere you can be the "best you" whether it is US or India or any other part of world. Everything else will fall in place, trust me. 

You can analyze all you want .....

<This post is now getting too long. In my next post I will discuss my personal list of survival Strategies in India if you finally bite the bullet to move back from US to India :-) >

Photo Courtesy: First one by Prabir Saha with Atlantic Ocean (2006) : Second one by Ankit Kumar in Andamans (2014)