Learning in First Retirement : Escapist route

Let me start this post with a little story (the reason I am writing this post) :

It was the summer of 2016. I was on the first month of my travel spree. Me and  four french travelers were on our way to Tsomiri lake in Himalayas. We stopped for lunch to see a perplexed local lady of Ladakh while her kitchen had been captured by a big gang from Hyderabad. They paid her some money to get the kitchen and to make their own rice etc. We had no option but to go for pre-cooked meals. 
A very enthusiastic man came to us and sprinkled our plates with lots of powder (coriander and chilly mix). I was happy but the french travelers were shocked a bit on the 'it is good for you' treat. Suddenly a 30-40 years old man came to me and asked my whereabouts. After hearing my little story of quitting job and not getting married even at 35, he gave a strong statement - ' You are doing injustice to your parents'. 

I smiled in my usual way (the smile to suppress the irresistible urge to show one specific finger) but that comment was very important for me to give some thoughts into understanding life of many Indians in general. It also reminded me of one discussion with an elder colleague who stressed a lot on the fact that life without continuous presence of a family is not the right way to live...

I am lucky to have a cool family with progressive thoughts but most young people in our country (specially girls) have to go through all these comments and mental pressure if they dare to think beyond the usual cycle. 

Now listen to this 'escapist' :-)

Actually if I was born in a developed country, there is a high chance that I would not have written this blog. Sometimes back I penned down some thoughts about the cycle of life. You can read it too if you have some time for the second thoughts.

To spread genes is a primal urge and no matter how much we wrap it with the societal norms, it is what it is. Marriage in most conservative societies means the way to fulfill that responsibility. Nobody understands that marriage or finding a life partner is not an achievement. It is a choice. 

Coming back to family, there is a big difference between loving ones family and living with ones family. Many people live together and they forget how to care for each other. They hurt and make each others unhappy. Then it is a compulsion for economic and societal reasons not bonded by love. 

And, there is commitment. When you bring someone to this world, you are bound to make sure they breathe clean air, they eat well and they live a good life without cut throat competition. My questions to most people in India, can you give your child that? They are supposed to bring people in a beautiful world but too many of them fighting for basic necessities can create a chaos. At the same time, whether you want to be a father or mother, is not anybody's business as long as you are aware of the stress on natural resources! Beyond that calculations, kids bring unlimited supply of positive energy with their beautiful eyes and smiles to the world, just think a bit before introducing them to your world, please do not have kids because your mother wants to see a grandchild or your friends facebook picture with kids is too cute :-)

Let me reiterate, I am not against marriage or having kids. Feeling someone else in your heartbeat and seeing a little heart beating (with whom you will relive your childhood again) are beautiful emotions but at the same time, it is important to understand - it is a choice. Every human being is not destined to spend a big chunk of life on raising children and then forcing them to do the same in their lives. 

My logic is simple. I do not believe in such path of life as a requirement. Whether you want to marry someone you love is your personal choice because that is irrelevant other than a societal stamp. I do care for the kids in this world and that is why I would request everyone to think once more before bringing one more soul. Earth is suffering due the inefficiency as well as overload of one species and you deserve a choice. Life is not a list of check lists that we hurriedly tick by peer pressure.

Be an escapist! Escape from the forced societal norms and the choking peer pressure! Choose your own life! Do not look at others - it is not your duty to be a father or mother! It is not your duty to be trapped in one mega city because your loved ones demand that. People who truly love you, should know when to let go.  If you do not believe in incarnation, all the more reasons to live your own life not trying to live someone else's.

That is why I started travelling.... to realize what I am born to do! Because I am not born to live in one place for a long time neither I am born to do the imposed duties. I am born to be free. 

From my own experiences, a developed country does not push ideas into the minds of people. It helps the people to choose their own path with wider boundaries. I can only hope if every citizen of this world has that choice - they are not brainwashed since childhood to follow some imposed religious beliefs, some weird list of things named culture, some imposed responsibilities to choke them and live with closed windows to restrict their minds.

I dream of a world where everyone is taught the true journey of humanity through ups and downs -  to develop an open mind so that they can make their own choices and a room for the beloved minds with many windows!!  

That is the 'escapist' during that Tso Moriri trip in Ladakh